it hurts more in the daytime
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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