I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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