'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
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Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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