Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize