I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize