why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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