No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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