Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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