I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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