turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize