Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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