sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
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There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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