Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize