are you so shy because you have an std?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize