I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
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I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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