so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize