Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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