She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize