idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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