can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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