Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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