somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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