Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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