You work out of a Hotel?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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