Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How does it feel to date your dad?
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