she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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