It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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