Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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