do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize