Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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