All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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