he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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