you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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