Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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  (415): I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI http://tfl.nu/f789
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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  (706): yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning http://tfl.nu/1trw
  Replies (38) Good night (1051) Bad night (7750) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.

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  (412): All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire. http://tfl.nu/ff1n
  Replies (19) Good night (4245) Bad night (1847) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them

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  (314): my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them http://tfl.nu/57b7
  Replies (7) Good night (3327) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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  (808): for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing http://tfl.nu/0vur
  Replies (14) Good night (603) Bad night (4899) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.

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  (479): I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics. http://tfl.nu/bo11
  Replies (7) Good night (3944) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'

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  (732): His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.' http://tfl.nu/onxp
  Replies (25) Good night (7343) Bad night (1856) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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  (440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (2589) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".

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  (702): Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes". http://tfl.nu/tjre
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (2729)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?

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  (910): Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe? http://tfl.nu/5w16
  Replies (6) Good night (1256) Bad night (1724) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

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  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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  (315): 3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn. http://tfl.nu/iak3
  Replies (8) Good night (1961) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.

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  (724): The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants. http://tfl.nu/3mi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1891) Bad night (524)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

  (713): View more from Texas

  My liver has a boner

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  (832): But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze (713): My liver has a boner http://tfl.nu/y8xq
  Replies (3) Good night (1188) Bad night (353)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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  (815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt

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