i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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