HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
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Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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