..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize