Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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