I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize