apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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