its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
try to milk me bitch
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize