ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize