I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize