All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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