R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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