Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize