i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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