Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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