speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize