this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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